All children have tantrums. I think we get that, but when do they stop? They stop when we stop allowing them. But you say, “I don’t allow them, and they still do not stop”. I get that. I really do. My third child is a DAILY tantrum thrower. I’m not sure that I have ever allowed him to have a tantrum, or that it has ever been ok. At this point I had to come up with a quick plan.
Now we are reaping what we as parents have sown. Looking back I remember making his brothers’ give him the toy he wanted. Or cuddling him when he did not get his way. Obviously that was not the best way to handle the situations.
Having a quick plan in place that my husband and I are working on is giving us the tools to deal with the situation instead of react to it.
So now we are re-training to get rid of the daily tantrums because he is used to getting his way.
We have tried:
- bad marks
- going to bed early
None of those have worked. We still have daily tantrums over what he will wear, what he will do, or even now what he doesn’t like. It is exhausting. So now I am praying over the whole situation and asking for help. Why did I not do that in the first place? Because I thought that I could handle it. Clearly that was wrong.
My Quick Tantrum Plan:
My first option is: daily prayer. I need it for him and for me.
The second option that I have been working on is sleep. I have made it a point to get him in bed early enough that I can say easily that he is NOT sleep deprived.
The third option is to limit what may cause a tantrum such as allowing him to pick out his own clothes.
My fourth option is to speak quietly and wait until the tantrum is over…then I go over better ways to handle our emotions.
Finally, I have started doing a CONSISTENT timeout for a bad attitude. It is now one of our rules to work on having a good attitude.
By the way did I mention that he is almost 5? We have been dealing with tantrums of screaming and yelling for almost 3 years. It has been a VERY long stage, but now I feel like I have a better handle on it. Keeping my emotions at bay is also allowing me to have clearer vision instead of anger.
Do you have a child with repeated daily tantrums? I would love to hear what you do. Follow me on Facebook for more mom conversations.
Here are some books recommended for dealing with tantrum: